how to wake a sleeping dad......

............or at least give it a good go

REALLY REALLY REALLY

i am indeed pregnant....with TWINS!

the quote beneath my profile reads

" I am living the life, I never knew, I've always wanted"

this is the truest thing I could ever say

....i didn't think i wanted alot of children when i was younger

...i didn't think i'd marry at 19

....these are the things that I now cherish the most, I cherish my marriage & I cherish the sacred gift of motherhood bestowed upon me.

so often i feel unequal and inadequate, so often i feel the hefty burden that is the bringing up of children, so often i feel the sting of a wrong decision, but i never feel as though I didn't want any of this I MUST HAVE WANTED IT ALL ALONG, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW!

During my ultrasound the Dr ( who was sitting in) & the tech were looking at the monitor...then they both looked up and asked "Was this a planned pregnancy".....i had to think a moment....the truth was we had not been trying to get pregnant, but the bigger truth is now that we were having a baby{s} we felt like we'd been trying all along, the biggest truth is WE WANTED THIS BABY! I tried to make my reply reflect the bigger truth......"well, we are really happy and excited"..they caught my drift and then said almost in unison "Well we are about to give you a bit of a surprise" then turned the monitor and there before me was the picture you saw yesterday 2 little itty bitty babies, WOW! I could tell you all the thoughts, reactions, & hopes that went through my mind but in an effort to weed through my emotional reactions I will just emphasize the most important reactions

One: I want these babies, and I never knew it

Two: I feel as though it will take alot of time on my knees to be the mother of 6

Three: I am humbled

Now if you will go with me back a couple of weeks i will try to relate how i came to be in the ultrasound room yesterday

I received an ultra sound a few weeks ago to confirm the most recent miscarriage....which it did

I still felt sick

I still felt tired

Angelo wanted to try

the thought of yet another miscarriage recked me

I felt sick

I felt tired

then i started eating out for all of our meals

napping during the day

then i started throwing up

so I took another pregnancy test

which was POSITIVE almost a blinking light seeming to say HELLO YOU ARE P R E G N A N T

i called the doctor thinking i had somehow i'd just gotten pregnant directly after my miscarriage so they sent me to the lab

this was Monday

my appointment was scheduled for Wednesday

Tuesday i got a phone call

" could you come in for an Ultrasound before your appointment , your HCG is very HIGH"

Wednesday more labs

the ultrasound revelation & here we sit

no miscarriage just a really odd cycle

and twins

the babies are due the beginning of April but I guess full term with twins is 36 weeks so that makes me due whenever they feel like it between March & April!

so here i sit, i've NEVER felt this sick NEVER NEVER EVER ( i kept telling the Mr., my mother, & *friend to which they responded you just don't remember) now we know I am sicker than ever before...i feel like when the woodpecker on loony toones rigs a big hammer to smash his opponent then the poor guy gets smashed like a pancake and THEN some gigantic spatula comes to peel him off the ground........that's kinda how i feel oh and also a bit like i've been fasting for the last week..and a bit like i've just come off one of those spinning carnival ride, you know all dizzy and such...but i am GRATEFUL for every spinning, body smashed, starved moment!

I really just need all the prayers I can get...I want these babies to grow & develop and be healthy

{ my mom wants all these things and them to be FEMALE}

{Angelo wants all these things and to find a vehicle that he like with a decent price that will fit us all}

{Jax's is excited to be the boss of them}

{Liam is excited to be the co-boss of them}

{Emme can't see the babies so she's frustrated}

{ and the poor boss doesn't even know what's coming for him}

Another Ultrasound in two weeks

that's all the twin news i have until then

Today at my doctors appointment they found a couple of things....

Guess what
we're having twins....
more later once I catch my breath :-)...
For now looks like I was pregnant all along! Please pray with us for
THEIR continued growth & strength

What would Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle say?

this mornings shower found me deep in conversation...an imagined conversation that is, which went something like this:

"Good morning Mrs. Carvajal, what can I do for you"

"Yes, good morning to you too Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle"

" And how are your dear children Mrs. Carvajal?"

" Well, they are good, yes they are fine, in fact I was calling to speak to you about my two eldest you see.."

" Ah yes Jax's & Liam they are dear boys, and what are those two sweet boys up to?"

" Well you see...the other day we had just walked in the house from visiting one of the boys friends homes when they asked me if they could go to another friends home, when I said that we had just visited friends and now was time to be home for a bit they, in Unison screamed "WE NEVER GET TO VISIT FRIENDS". Then just yesterday I took them out to a picture show and not even 5 minutes after we walked in they asked could they watch a movie, well I of course replied we had just been to the movie and now was time to find other activity, again they screamed " WE NEVER GET TO WATCH MOVIES".

So you see Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle I just don't know what to do with them, every time I say no they respond with we NEVER"

" Ahh, Mrs. Carvajal I do see! Your boys have a terrible case of the I Nevers"

Now this is as far as my little make believe conversation has led me, you see after this you get some great advice, sage wisdom if you may. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle usally instructs mothers in the most helpful manner. Now we are back to the title.....What would Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle say to do with a terrible case of the Never's. So, here I am trying to shake off the mornings "I Nevers".....yes they'd already begun at 7:30......and what would she say????

what w o u l d she say? ?

nothing to shout about

i've taken no pictures


i've created nothing note worthy


i've droned through the last couple of days without so much as a funny to share


*******************


i've visited parks


i've visited the zoo


i've done the laundry


i've house hunted a bit

this is my life on the normal cycle...calm & mundane suit me just fine for the present...i'll let you know when a blog worthy event occurs

burial at SEA

in memory of Cheeto

a beloved goldfish

who will be missed

............

comments made at the funeral

" he was a good fish, can we eat him?" (Jax's)

"mom, I don't like you I want my cheeto"(Emme)

"huh"(Liam)

'bye bye" ( the boss)

..................

what they were trying to say

"I'll miss feeding you"

"I'll miss watching you swim........for hours"

"I'll miss trying to catch you"

"bye bye"

**sometimes what isn't said is what we really mean**

I've been looking for the lid to my green pen

{items found in the boss' diaper}